50% of all marriages end in divorce. This statistic alone can scare the best of us. Some would argue that this stat is incorrect, and in fact, they may say the rate of divorce is decreasing. We won’t spend time debating, but we do know that over that past 30 years this statistic has, for the most part, held true. Take a moment and ask yourself the question: is your marriage the next statistic? Tough one, huh? What are your thoughts at this very moment about your spouse and the state of your union? What are the flies on your wall gossiping about? More importantly, what does God think about it?
I don’t at all proclaim to be a marriage expert, but I am an expert in analyzing the positive and negative impact my actions have on my marriage. And if I’m honest with myself, I realize there are more opportunities to be an asset than a liability. My hope is that you feel the same way.
One of the main areas where you can truly add value to your marriage is communication. Think about it. How many times do you sincerely compliment your spouse during the week or even the month? This easy, but very thoughtful and powerful way to communicate your love could be exactly what your marriage needs. And if you need help on words to say, then check out Song of Solomon 1:1-17. There are nearly 15 compliments made by the couple in this passage of scripture alone. What are some other ideas you have to prevent marriages from becoming the next statistic?
Beyonce said she is “dangerously in love” with her man! We know it, or at least from the distance of our flat screen, we see it. Does it seem to you that she is dangerously in love with Jay? Yes I realize the song “Dangerously in Love” was written over ten years ago but it seem so befitting based on the perceptions of their marriage.
Now shift gears and get into the driver’s seat of your marriage – ask yourself the question, am I dangerously in love with my spouse? This question obviously can be answered many ways, so lets provide a fair standard that we can all use as a measurement – the lyrics.
Baby I love you, you are my life
The happiest moments weren’t complete if you weren’t by my side
You’re my relation and connection to the sun
With you next to me there’s no darkness I can’t overcome
You are the raindrops I am the seed,
With you and God, who’s the sunlight I’ll bloom and grow so beautifully Baby I’m so proud, proud to be your girl
You make the confusion go all away from this cold and messed up world
Cause I am in love with you, you set me free
I can’t do this thing called life without you here with me
‘Cause I’m dangerously in love with you
I’ll never leave just keep lovin’ me the way I love you loving me
So, are you dangerously in love? You’re probably saying, ‘I used to be dangerously in love at the beginning of our marriage.” If so, what will it take for you to get back to being dangerously in love? I want that for your marriage and I believe it can happen. Consider the verses below and share your thoughts on what couples can do to be dangerously in love.
Revelation 2:4-5 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.
Join us this Sunday for part 1 of this exciting series!
I, like many other pastors, stood in the pulpit over the past few Sundays with a sincere desire to motivate you to start the year off right. I, like many other pastors, will do my best to make you believe that 2013 will be the best year ever! I will attempt to get you back on track to reach goals not accomplished last year. But with all honesty, there is really nothing I can do to motivate you other than point you to the inspiration of God’s word.
In 2 Corinthians 5:17, Paul excites us with this statement, “if anyone is in Christ they are a new creation!” Yes, you are new! No matter the outcome of your past, God says that you can live everyday in the newness of life. He has produced a change so great in you that it’s proper to say you are a brand new person.
I believe your perspectives are new, your motives are new, there are new principles, new objects and new plans of life. You have new purposes and now live for new ends. There is a change so deep, so clear, so entire, and so lasting, that it is only right to recognize and say you have been re-created! You are a work of the Divine power as glorious as when God created all things out of nothing.
I challenge you to stop living in the past and let the “New You” be manifested by God Himself.
Only 3% of You Have Set 2013 Goals…
Is that really true? Only 3% of us set goals. Wow! This is an alarming stat and one that I hope will not be the norm for you.
So, if you haven’t set your personal and family goals, here are some points to consider:
- Most of us have heard it…”your goals should be smart“: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based. Take a well-rounded approach to setting goals – set goals that are centered on …
i. Maybe read the bible in a year (Join the 90 Day Plan with me)
ii. Develop a life of fasting & praying
i. Set a date for family night
ii. Set a date night with your spouse
iii. Reading to your kids at night
i. Consider doing the 52 Week Money Challenge – click here to learn more
i. Exercise 3 times a week
ii. Improve your daily eating habits
I hope this gives you a jump start for a victorious year! What are your thoughts about setting goals?
As we come to end of the “love month” ask yourself this question; the question Tyler Perry asked, “Why Did I Get Married?” According to love-sessions.com, here are the reasons why many men and women get married:
- The man’s wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood
- Desire to have a lifetime companion
- The love the man and woman has for each other
- The woman having become pregnant
- To have a woman/man who has a similar career for easier adaptability
- Wish to escape from parents
It’s interesting the to read reasons we see above and find out how much they differ from God’s standard. In 1 Corinthians 7:4 the Apostle Paul says this to the Church at Corinth:
Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
If you made the decision to marry for any reason other than to satisfy and serve your spouse then please rethink that decision. The success of your marriage is determined by how you view the needs of your spouse and meet those needs. As Rick Warren says in his book The Purpose Driven Life, “it’s not about you!”
Check out the next three commandments to keep the flames burning and focus on satisfying your spouse:
Commandment 6: Thou shalt write love letters – Song of Solomon 1:10-15
- This passage reveals a spiritual spouse who identifies specific qualities he appreciates about his beloved, then expresses his appreciation in a love letter. He didn’t text it, tweet it, or Facebook it, he wrote it down!
- Here are four critical elements that must be present in your love letter
i. Identify – Declare what it is you appreciate. Name it.
ii. Specify – Be as specific as you can. Don’t make generalizations about the things you love about your spouse.
iii. Quantify – Express how they have made a measurable difference in your life.
iv. Magnify – Encourage your spouse liberally in public, before their peers.
Commandment 7: Thou shalt be spontaneous. And here’s why:
- Your spouse is counting on you to do something different, something unplanned, unstructured, and spur-of the-moment.
- Spontaneity brings surprise, fun, creativity, and freshness to a marriage.
- Spontaneous moments and times don’t have to be huge events… small ones have the same effect on your marriage. Have fun together!
Commandment 8: Thou shalt seek to satisfy your spouse. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5
- The Bible says that marriage partners should offer their bodies to each other in marriage and should not deny each other except for a short season for fasting.
- To rekindle the flame in your marriage you must seek to satisfy your spouse in bed and out.
All in all, remember that it’s not about you! Base your marriage on serving your spouse in love and I guarantee the flame will continue to burn high!